I dedicate this book to the sacred memory of Srila Prabhupada's "bhajan-anandi" Godbrother, Paramahamsa
Akincana Krsnadas Babaji Maharaj
He was the delight of all the associates of the great Sarasvati Thakur. He was the favorite of his Godbrothers and he gave them all his laughing "Hare Krsna!"

In his exalted association I wandered all over the Land of Vraja for many years. Please excuse me if I mistakenly claim that once I even felt the glance of Srimati Radharani on my hidden soul. But again She has cast me out of the holy Vraja-dham and into the cesspool of material gain and prestige which I so desired.

Foreword

Please bear with me as I explain how I came to be one of the first Western born mleccha (beef eating foreigner) to ever become a Vraja-vasi (i.e., to live penniless in Vraja-dham many years, long enough to be accepted by the Vraja-vasis). The truth is that I am now most fallen from Vraja-dham, and even my desire to taste 1/10,000th part of a drop of Vraja nectar is a selfish one.

I first met devotees in Golden Gate Park during the “summer of love” 1967, the morning after I had deserted from the Army. I was already a vegetarian and something of a Buddhist. In Army training I was turned on to the Bhagavad-gita (Gita Press) by one deep soul. When the devotees finished chanting they all bowed down for a long time. I spoke to Hayagriva Prabhu and asked him “Do you meditate after chanting?” to which he replied, “the chant is the meditation!” Later that year H.H. Sri Mukunda Goswami took me to be initiated by Swamiji at Stinson Beach.

When I first met Swamiji I was surprised at how small he was. I reached out my hand and Swamiji shook it. Later the same day, after finally bowing down, I was given “Hari-nam” initiation and named Hrsikesa das. In Mayapur, 1973, Srila Prabhupada lengthened my name to Hrsikesananda das - and kept it that way.

I told Swamiji about my fugitive status and he advised me to join him in Vrndavana. By the time I reached Old Delhi in Jan. 1968 Sri Swamiji had already returned to the West. But before learning about this, my first major 'experience' was finding “Chippiwada Kalan, “---Swamiji's Delhi address (printed inside the Bhagavatam which I carried in my hand). It was a needle in a hay-stack. What I finally found was dark, damp and very austere. There was an old lady praying before a Shiva-linga down-stairs and a happy young Indian chap who informed me that, “Swamiji has gone to Vrndavana.”

Arriving from Mathura by tonga I finally reached the other address mentioned in Srimad Bhagavatam: Sri Radha-Damodhar Mandir. An old goswami with thick glasses who spoke a little English said, “Swamiji has returned to America.” Wham! He advised me to take shelter of Swamiji's Godbrother named Vana (Bon) Maharaj.

When I arrived at the Vana ashram (Bhajan-kutir), he also was absent. But I was allowed to stay provided I was careful with all the rules. If I would step on any devotee's shadow they would bathe. I was a mleccha, a sahib. When Swami Vana finally returned, I told him I was a disciple of Swamiji, and I also told him about my fugitive status. He said I was welcome to stay and practice Krsna consciousness, but I must learn all the vaisnavata (Vaisnava etiquette) and join all the ceremonies.

I wrote a letter to America telling Swamiji about my situation. I never received a reply but was told by Vana Maharaj that news had come to him saying that I should stay with him and study. Thereafter, I never again heard any news from Swamiji. But within a few months I did receive a letter from the U.S. Embassy in Delhi addressed to my devotee name at Swami Vana's ashram. The letter was an order for me to surrender for deportation to face US Army desertion charges. How they got my address is another story which is not important. With trembling hands I took the letter to Vana Maharaj, who advised me to burn it and then to do parikrama of Govardhana Hill.

At that time, paramahamsa Akincana Krsnadas Babaji Maharaj was staying at the ashram, “bhajan kutir' which he did every year (for 3-4 months at a time) during the hot season. In the winter he was in Navadvipa. We slept on the roof together many summer nights, and he never went to sleep. Prayers, quiet bhajans and chanting all night long, every night. He was constantly laughing, and he would always say “Hare Krsna!” with the greatest exuberance I have ever witnessed. He was the most “Goswami” alike character. He looked just like you would imagine Sanatana or Rupa Goswami in Vraja to look like. He was the first devotee I ever witnessed who would weep flowing tears while leading kirtan without losing his voice. And he was the greatest kirtana leader in the universe! All the devotees within the various Gaudiya Mathas everywhere agreed that Lord Caitanya would personally join Babaji Maharaj's kirtans. As long as he stayed at the ashram he always led the kirtans starting at 4:30 am. He always played the mrdanga either in kirtan or alone while singing prayers before the Deities.

The Deities at bhajan-kutir were Lord Caitanya, Sri Govinda in the center, with Srimati Radharani on the other side. There were also Govardhana and Shalagram shilas worshipped daily with the central Deities. The puja standard was first-class. There were about 10-15 ashramites ranging in age from 18 - 80 years old. Everyone was either a brahmacari or sannyasi. Akincana Krsnadas was the only “Babaji” who ever stayed regularly at bhajan-kutir. In the daytime, after noon kirtana, Babaji Maharaj would go down into a cave room which Swami Vana had constructed. It was very cool in that room. So everyday Babaji Maharaj would spend the entire afternoon in the cave room chanting his mala; he also kept track of his rounds.

Babaji Maharaj didn't seem to have any teeth. He was an old Bengali disciple of Saraswati Thakura's who (it is rumored) went to live in seclusion at Haridwar after the disappearance of his Gurudeva. In any case, that was many, many years ago. He was about 70 years old when I first received his merciful glance. Making disciples was the farthest thing from his mind; and he never, ever criticized anyone. His only concern was chanting constantly; either kirtan or rounds. He would answer with a laughing “Hare Krsna!” any time anyone would speak to him. All the devotees were so glad when Babaji Maharaj would come to stay. Time for the “uttama” kirtans!

For “protection” I proceeded to Govardhana Mountain to perform circumambulation. By great good fortune I was accompanied by Babaji Maharaj who also wanted to visit Govardhana. On the way we stopped at Nandagram where we stayed for a week at Sanatana Goswami's bhajan kutir (no electric, water, nor latrine). Begging “madhu-kari” from the local Vraja-vasis by proclaiming, “Radhe Syama!,” we passed our time in chanting and exploring the home of Nanda Maharaj. Babaji Maharaj didn't speak anything (he only said “Hare Krsna!”), nor did I speak much Bengali, so our relationship was based on only saying “Hare Krsna!” to each other. I will tell you what I know about Nandagram later in the book; I returned many times to stay on the banks of Pavan-sarovar in the years that followed. I will also tell you about the time Nanda-lal stole half my milk, and how I was bitten once by a rabid dog during madhu-kari. There are many interesting lilas that describe “Nandeswar Parvat” and Pavan-sarovar lake.

Next we proceeded to Varsana where I was introduced to Sriji Herself. But due to my “blunt material eyes” I could only see charming Deities. Such was my disqualification! We also stayed a few days at Man-mandir with a Siddha-purush known as Radha-charan Das Babaji. He was one of the most exalted souls I had ever met. I will tell you about “avadhut” Sri Radha-charan das and Varsana (and the secret garden, Gavarvan) later on. I will also tell you about Gavarvan's “killer” monkey, the snake infested bhajan cave, kirtana with scorpions, and other nectar.

After many days we finally arrived at Mount Govardhana, but we got off the bus (at Babaji's insistence) before the bus drove over the hill and on to the bus station. Exploring Syama Kunda and Radha Kunda with Babaji Maharaj is only a memory now, but my life will never be satisfied until I can re-taste the many understandings which I acquired from Vraja-dham in his association. This is the real reason for writing this small book. Early the next morning, after bathing in Syama & Radha kundas (head-first), we walked around Govardhana hill barefoot, carrying our bedding, chanting all the way. Sometimes Babaji Maharaj, while always chanting, would laugh out loud and other times he seemed morose like he was missing Krsna. Just like Srila Prabhupada, Babaji Maharaj never wasted a single moment without Krsna Consciousness. By evening we had completed the task and returned safely to Radha-kunda for the night. The next day we went back to Mathura by bus and onwards to Vrndavana by tonga.

There are so many amrta-like stories associated with Govardhana and the two kundas. I returned many times in the years that followed. Later, during another Govardhana parikrama with Babaji Maharaj, I am ashamed to confess I was chanting so poorly that he was forced to break his silence. I'll tell you more about this incident and other, similar stories later.

Once I toured all over Vraja with a group of Bengali devotees, 100 strong, led by Babaji Maharaj and Vana Maharaj. For over a month we toured all the sacred places of Vraja and listened to their associated glories from the mouths of Babaji Maharaj, Ashram Maharaj and other associates of the great Saraswati Thakura. All that I can remember will come out in the course of this book. I only pray that I should not hold anything back out of fear of censure.

Life in bhajan-kutir was always the same. Sweeping the temple kirtana hall was considered the highest attainment by the simple devotees there. Every morning we would be awakened by the blast of the conch. There was only one water-well so everyone took turns bathing according to seniority. This water-well was magic: In the Summer it was ice cold water but during the Winter steam would float off. The use of the toilets was a complex art which I eventually mastered (to the great relief of all the devotees).

I also want to tell you something about one devotee there. His name was Gopesa Prabhu, and although he was very expert in so many devotional activities, still he was Krsna's personal cook. Many times Gopesa Prabhu would forcefully serve out every last bit of prasadam to the hungry devotees without keeping any set aside for himself. Often he went hungry, but he always seemed to be transcendentally situated. I never once heard him complain about anything nor criticize anyone.

The level of Vaisnavata (Vaisnava etiquette) was first class. The devotees were always bowing down to each other all the time. At lease bending over to touch the ground and say "dandavat" The puja and aratis were "poetry in motion." All thalis and pots were cleaned using dried grass, fine dirt, and a lota of water which was handled using the wrists. Same for washing after the latrine,… clean your hands with dirt and water. Brush your teeth with a neem twig. Apart from attending the ashram programs I still had ample time to discover all the holy spots in Vrndavana. The river Yamuna still flowed by Imli-tala and the ancient Madan Mohan temple which was built by Sanatan Goswami. His original Madan Mohan Deity is now being worshipped in the hilly town of Karoli (a bus ride from Jaipur in Rajasthan), but allow me to describe that darshan later on.

Almost immediately I started getting frequently ill with amoebic dysentery and other stomach problems.

Later in 1968, when I tagged along for the 50th anniversary of Srila Saraswati Thakura's starting the Gaudiya Mission in Mayapur, I offered obeisances to the feet of almost all of Prabhupada's Godbrothers, including H.H. Bhakti Vilas Tirtha Maharaj. On this occasion there was samkirtana with one hundred mrdangas and hundreds of thousands of devotees chanting around Sri Yoga-pith mandira. There was an ocean of Hari kirtana for days on end. I was the only mleccha present on this auspicious occasion.

But I also became so sick that I had to be carried across two rivers and placed into a hospital in Calcutta. In Vrndavana I was always in and out of the free Rama-Krsna Mission hospital. Later on I became so ill with ulcerative colitis that they wanted to surgically remove my colon. But by the mercy of Srimati Radharani (and H.E. President Sri V.V. Giri) I was saved. But that story is not important.

The great Vrndavana flood came in 1969. I remember sitting next to Madan Mohan temple and watching the huge thunder clouds coming. At one point it even looked like an atomic war starting in the distance. But I felt safe in Vrndavana, protected by Krsna's devotees. The floods that followed reached all the way to Loi Bazaar, and the ashram was five feet deep under water. Still, the water never entered the temple room.
Ashram life in the "bhajan-kurti" was VERY austere. No prasadam until 1-2 PM. After the mid-day offering. Although transcendental by nature, the daily prasadam appeared to be cold, rubbery chapattis, watery dall full of rocks (and loads of chilies), and a bit of half-rotted vegetables collected free from the daily market in front of Vanke-Vehari temple. At night another offering was made and we had a bit more of the same type of prasad again. None of the devotees (including myself) had any money.

The Math was located on Madan-Mohan Ghera, the lane leading to Sri Madan-Mohan temple, etc. It is said that the Devine Couple, Radha and Krsna, pass down this lane every night on the way to Seva-kunja. It was very quiet in the ashram except for the repeated kirtans, and everyone spent their free time reading and chanting. Mostly I was able to roam the holy Dhama.

During this time I also had access to Swami Vana's IOP library which was a treasure house of Vaisnava literature. I found English translations of Sri Caitanya-Bhagavat (which was almost impossible to read without weeping), the Govinda-bhasya commentary on the Vedanta Sutras, and many more rare books. I gathered a few gems from these sources which helped me begin to understands the meaning of the Dhama. Kindly allow me to present a brief explanation of the holy Dhama which I hope may serve as a Vedantic introduction to this small book.

NOTE: The following introduction was compiled after a study of Srila Baladeva Vidyabhusana's "Govinda-bhasya" commentery on the Vedanta sutras…

The Vaisnava Concept of Dhama

The Sanskrit etymology of the word dhama traces the term to dha, which means "prime support" and also "to nurture." The suffix man creates dhaman, denoting loka, or the residence of God. The Supreme Lord alone is the prime support and nurture for all spiritual existences, and therefore His dhama is the eternal home and goal of all living beings.

Vaisnavas further define dhama as Vaikuntha, or that transcendental place beyond all the limitations and misery of the material world of birth and death. Dhama is completely different from mundane existence, both gross and subtle, because it is a limitless, supra-mundane reality utterly beyond the power of maya. Dhama is identical in nature with the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Thus we hear in the Mundaka-upanisad (III.3.7),

yah sarvajnah sarva-vidyasyaisa mahima bhuvi
divye brahma-pure hyesa vyomnyatma pratisthitah

"The Supreme Self, who is all-wise, omniscient, and whose glory is pervertedly reflected in the mundane world, resides eternally in the divine city of Brahman, within the great vacuum."

(Vyoma literally means "vacuum," according to the Visvakosa Sanskrit dictionary, and as Vaisnavas we were somewhat hesitant to use this translation because of its suggestion that the kingdom of God is merely some kind of void. However, we can understand that the Upanisad used the term vyoma to erase completely any hint of materiality in relation to the Supreme Lord's personal realm, or dhama.)

Grammatically, vyoma is in the locative case, and thus it literally 'locates' the kingdom of God in a place perfectly free of all matter. This accords with our Vaisnava understanding that the personal realm of the Supreme Godhead, Sri Krsna, is devoid of any material attributes, being a limitless eternal plane of spiritual existence wholly different from prakrti, or mundane nature. Divya-brahma-puri, in the above sloka, is the dhama itself, the transcendental abode of God, and it includes all His divine and glorious qualities, associates, paraphernalia, and pastimes. The holy and eternal kingdom of God, His sacred dhama, is therefore as worshipful as He is.

Lord Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu has conclusively proved the fact that the Supreme Godhead's personal dhama is identical with the Lord's own completely spiritual nature. All material forms are reflections of activities and forms that take place in that divine realm. Everything in the spiritual world--persons, places objects, conditions, moods tastes, etc.--are direct expansions of the Personality of Godhead, and thus they are inseparable parts and parcels of that holy dhama. Everything in the spiritual world exists for the unrestricted pleasure and happiness of God Himself. Non-Vaisnavas, relying on their own imperfect senses, cannot comprehend the actual nature and the activities of the supra-mundane dhama, and therefore they wrongly conclude that brahma-puri is either an allegorical realm or, even granting its eternal spiritual nature, that erroneous view of any transcendent al attributes and variegatedness. This erroneous view of Lord Krsna's dhama is refuted in many places by Vaisnava acaryas, as in the following sutra (aphorism) by Sri Dvaipayana Vedavyasa in the Vedanta-sutra (III, 3, 36)---antara-bhutagramavat svatmanah: "In the kingdom of God, things look similar to that of any ordinary village in the material world, but they are actually different in essence. Self realized devotees of the Supreme Lord can see this difference."

Thus, self-realized devotees of God can actually see the holy dhama by the grace of the Supreme Lord, and such a spiritual vision permits the devotee to perceive and experience the sublime varieties of transcendental manifestations present there. This spiritual variegatedness is non-different from the Lord Himself, and thus like Him the holy dhama is all-perfect and ever-fresh. Lord Brahma himself described the kingdom of God at the dawn of creation: "I worship that transcendental realm, known as Svetadvipa, where as loving consorts thee Laksmis in their unalloyed spiritual essence practice the amorous service of the Supreme Lord Krsna as their only lover; where every tree is a transcendental purpose tree; where the soil is the purpose-gem, all water is nectar, and every word is a song; where every gait is a dance, the flute is the favorite attendant, the effulgence is full of transcendental bliss, and the supreme spiritual entities are all enjoyable and tasty: where numberless milk cows always emit transcendental oceans of milk; where there is eternal existence of transcendental time, which is ever-present and without past or future and hence is not subject to the quality of passing away even for the space of half a moment. That realm is known as Goloka only to a very few self-realized souls in this world." (Brahma-samhita, V. 56).

In this Govinda-bhasya, Sri Baladeva Vidyabhusana has stated that the Supreme Godhead, Who is satyam jnanamanantam brahma, or the absolute embodiment of truth and knowledge, appears to His devotees in His original transcendental form, complete with hands, feet, and all attributes of personality. The devotee also sees the Lord's holy dhama as a perfect transcendental land sublimely complete with limitless varieties of birds, tree, waterfalls, and activity. Form Vaisnava commentaries we can understand that all this splendidly beautiful variety of activity emanates from Lord Sri Krsna. The Gopala-tapani Upanisad tells us in the passage, saksad brahma gopala-puri-hi, that "The city of Gopala, or the Supreme Lord Sri Krsna, is verily Brahman. "The Lord and His realm, in other words are identical in nature.

Each Vaisnava-acarya has revealed confidential aspects of the holy dhama. According to Sri Ramanujacarya and Sri Madhvacarya, the Supreme Lord as Sri Narayana resides eternally in Vaikuntha. Here the Lord portrays His majestic form, and thus He is worshiped by His devotees in the mood of reverential service, dasya-rati. Sri Nimbarka and Sri Vallabhacarya glorify the Personality of Godhead as Sri Krsna, residing in Goloka-dhama, where the predominating mood is prema-bhakti. It was Lord Sri Krsna Caitanya Mahaprabhu, however, who revealed the deepest secrets of prema-bhakti and the special glories of Vraja-dhama. It was He who revealed the ecstasy of intimate attachment to Lord Krsna which culminates in Srimati Radharani's mahabhava, and thus from Lord Caitanya we learn precisely how the sacred dhama directly assists in arranging for the loving relationships between the Divine Couple Sri Sri Radha and Krsna.

The philosophy of madhura-prema, as explained by Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu, is based upon this concept of rasa-tattva, and it finds its highest and most confidential manifestation in Vraja-dhama. This concept is the crest jewel of all theology, and its brilliant facets have been thoroughly analyzed by His Divine Grace Srila Prabhupada in his books, particularly Sri Caitanya-caritamrta. From Srila Prabhupada's translations and commentaries we can understand beyond any doubt or misunderstanding that all the gradations and varieties of spiritual activity in the holy dhama are identical with Lord Krsna Himself although all the Lord's devotees and transcendental paraphernalia retain their individual identities. This concept of simultaneous transcendental similarity and difference is called acintya-bhedabheda-tattva, and it reveals the deepest understanding of Lord Krsna's supreme personality and pastimes, while also revealing the intimate role of Krsna's Vraja-dhama in rendering Him direct loving service. In this way, we can understand how each of the Lord's infinite abodes, and especially Vraja-dhama, exists to render Krsna transcendental loving service.

The dhama of the eternal Personality of Godhead is manifested with the Supreme Lord Himself and His associates whenever He chooses to appear in the material world. Because the dhama is not different from Krsna and exists to make the many wonderful arrangements necessary for satisfying the Lord's transcendental desires, yogamaya first manifested the dhama on this earthly planet before the advent of the Lord Himself. Although the Lord has since withdrawn His transcendental form from our view, the reflection of the Lord's personal abode has remained in the material world for those blessed with the spiritual vision needed to behold it in its spiritual glory and sweetness.

Sri Baladeva Vidyabhusana states in his Prameya-ratnavali
(Para. XXVII):
prapance svatmakam lokam avatarya mahesvara
avirbhavati tatreti matam brahmadi-sabdatah
govinde saccindanande naradarakata yatha
ajnair nirupyate tadvadhamni prakrta kila

"The Supreme Godhead first manifests His supra-mundane realm in the mundane world, and then He Himself makes His divine descent therein. But just as the ignorant fallen souls deluded by the forces of maya attribute mortal form and qualities to the Supreme Lord Govinda, who is in reality the absolute embodiment of truth, consciousness, and bliss, so also the Lord's dhama is misconceived by fallen souls to be a mundane place subject to laws of material nature--while in reality it is the eternal realm of the Supreme Autocratic Lord."
There IS transcendental variety in the Lord's Nitya-lilas within the spiritual sky, both in the limitless Vaikunthas, as well as in the center of the Spiritual Sky, Goloka, Vraja-dham & Navadvipa-dham.

NEXT - PART 2