Related Links
Paramahansa Srimad
Bhakti Siddhanta Saraswati Thakura
Tridandi Swami Bhakti Hridaya Vana Maharaj
Akinchan Krishnadas Babaji Maharaj
Tridandi Swami Bhakti Vedanta Swami Prabhupada
Avadhuta Radha Charan Das Babaji
Memories of Srila Prabhupada
The Author
Back to Main Articles Menu
(C) 1995 by Richard S. Brown All rights reserved.
A Satire by Richard S. Brown
The void poses for a snap shot
"It's worthless!"
~ Alan Greenspan on the Void
"If you count to infinity then you'll know how big it is!"
~ Carl Sagan on the Void
"Boring!"
~ Winston Churchill on the Void
"What Anti-Christ? We're afraid of the Anti-Void!"
~ Buddhist on the Void
"It can play 18 holes and shoot a perfect 0!"
~ Tiger Woods on the Void
"Man! It's, like, nowheresville, dude!"
~ Cheech Marin on the Void
"It would laugh at the IRS if it had a sense of humor"
~ Bill Gates on the Void
Voidism (Sanskrit: Shunya-vaad). Denotes no-thing. Zilch. Nada.
What follows is a concise explanation of Voidism in layman terms (see photograph of actual void). This following article is also written in Voidic, which is the official language used in the Void. If the purport of this page appears VOID to you then maybe you're catching on. In which case you are ready to face the 3rd Okage and help rescue Sasuke from the anti-void.
A graphic example of the dreaded and horrible Anti-Void
Descriptions of Voidism
"The Void is not an absence of everything. It is an abundance of nothing!"
~ Buddha on describing the Void
"It's like trying to explain taking a leak on Acid to the fuzz!"
~ Timothy Leary on describing the Void
"The Void can never be polluted nor sweetened by anything besides money!"
~ Warren Buffet on describing the Void
"Black Holes are afraid of Void! But Void is not afraid of Black Holes. So Void is superior to black-holes!"
~ Daily Lama on describing the Void
"It never shot nobody. Don't even carry a gun!"
~ AC/DC on describing the Void
"The Void doesn't need a lawyer or PR manager. Right!? So then what exactly is your job?"
~ Jay Leno on interviewing the Daily Lama
"From outside if you shoot a bullet into the void it will cease to exist as soon as it enters the void. So, yeah, you could say it's bullet proof!"
~ Chuck Norris on describing the Void
"Do not lead for I may not follow. Do not follow for I may not lead. Do not stand beside me either. Just leave me the hell alone!"
~ The Void on Voidism
Origin of the Void
When the "Big Bang" took place there was also the anti-big bang which produced an area called the Void. The Void is free of birth - disease - old age - death & rebirth, and is a popular resort for people who dislike these problems. A person's desire or attempt to enter the Void is called "Voidism", Voideristic, Voiderism. Be careful what you wish for because there's NO returning from the Void.
Types of Voidism
* All White (Honky Void)
* All Black (Nigger Void)
* All Transparent (Federal Reserve Void)
African-American Buddhists enter the Black Void. Caucasian or English-American Buddhists enter the White Void, and Asian Buddhists enter the Transparent Void. Non-Buddhists can kiss the Void's ass.
NOTE: If by accident a black Buddhist enters the white Void, or visa versa, no one will notice. This is because inside the Void is actually invisible.
Voidism in Numerology
* Void + 0 x 300% = 0
Voidism Facts
* When you look into the Void, the Void looks back at you.
* The Anti-void sold it's soul to the devil.
* Canned Void is for sale on E-bay.
* The Void is only afraid of one thing, e.g., everything.
* The Void doesn't care how many times 50 Cent got shot.
* The Void is eternal holiday.
* The Void's Dad can beat up your Dad.
* The Void is hopeless at contact sports.
* To hear the sound of the void click http://www.0.com/void.mp0
* For fun Jack Bauer surfs "black holes", but he is afraid of
being sucked into the void because there even Tony can't help him.
* If the FBI and CIA and KGB "vet" the Void they'll end up with
nothing.
* VOID means "word" in New York.
* You can't blame the Void for ANYthing. No evidence.
* The Void is not productive nor wasteful nor contributes to climate change.
* If someone shows you a bucket full of transparent Void it might appear
empty to you. It isn't.
* The Void does NOT sit on-the-board of any enterprise, State or Private.
* Dead silence is the Void's motto.
* When asked it's opinion of Obama the Void replied with one word, "000000".
* If you say that ONLY the anti-void is guilty you'll be right.
* Bruce Lee, Jet Li, Chuck Norris, Steven Segal and Tony Jaa BELIEVE in
the void.
* The Void CAN "kick ass!" Seriously!
* The Void CANNOT kick Jack Bauer's ass! Seriously!
* The Void has no expenses or income.
* "Voidbyte" is the largest possible computer storage size.
* The Void is 100% terrorist free zone.
* The Void doesn't believe in YOU either! Asshole!
* The Void doesn't care if Kobe passes or not.
* The Void has never heard of "religion".
* The Void is entirely weapons-free.
* The Void doesn't vote and cannot, therefore, be blamed for the outcome
of an election.
* The Void doesn't need ANY power, food, gas, nor water supply.
* The Void needs NO drugs. The Void also needs no medicine.
* The Void won't even listen to the Godfather's offer.
* The Void doesn't have to file any tax return.
* The Void doesn't need welfare.
* The Void doesn't know that it's the subject of any philosophy.
* When asked for comment on the OJ acquittal the Void had "no comment".
* The Void doesn't care if you're a gay or T-girl.
* The Void is Hip-to-the-max.
* Late Pope John Paul said the "Void was atheism!"
* Personally, the Void couldn't-be-bothered to tell the Pope where to
stick-it. .
Disadvantages of Voidism
* There is no Lord Buddha.
* There is no Lord Brahma.
* There is no Lord Obama.
* There is no Lord Osama.
* There is no Lord Yo' Mama.
* There is no Hollywood or Bollywood.
* There is no "war" to bitch about.
* Can't use our nuclear deterrent for protection.
* Everywhere leads to nowhere.
* There are no enemies to hate.
* There are no Raspberries.
* There is no Buddha, Allah, Christ, Jin, Krishna, Rama or any other controller (no one is in charge).
* You're on your own forever.
* NO sex! Is non-negotiable.
* The price of admission is EVERYTHING you possess (including your body and mind).
* You won't be able to enjoy OJ being in jail.
* You won't know what happens to Jack Bauer.
* You won't get to see grand-ma Ripley in Aliens 13.
* There is no iPhone.
* There is no NEWS.
* There is no Internet.
* There is no YouTube.
* There is nothing to eat or drink.
* There is no music.
* There is no air.
* You can't see anything.
* You can't talk anything.
* You can't hear anything.
* You can't smell anything.
* You can't touch anything.
* You can't taste anything.
* You can't fuck anything.
* You can't buy anything.
* You can't get stoned.
* You'll be penniless.
* Alfred E. Neuman worries.
